Wherefore they who speak in similes say, come to Cheshbon, let the city of Sichon be built and established. (Bamidbar 21:27)

Rabbi Shmuel bar Nachman says that Rabbi Yochanan says: What is the meaning of that which is written: “Therefore they that speak in parables [hamoshlim] say: Come to Heshbon! Let the city [ir] of Sihon be built and established! For a fire is gone out of Heshbon, a flame from the city of Sihon; it has devoured Ar of Moab, the lords of the high places of Arnon” (Numbers 21:27–28)? The Gemara interprets these verses homiletically. “Hamoshlim”; these are the people who rule over [hamoshlim] their evil inclination. They will say: “Come to Heshbon,” meaning: Come and let us calculate the account of [cheshbono] the world, i.e., the financial loss incurred by the fulfillment of a mitzva in contrast to its reward, and the reward for committing a transgression, i.e., the pleasure and gain received, in contrast to the loss it entails. “Let it be built and established” means that if you make this calculation, you will be built in this world and you will be established in the World-to-Come. (Bava Basra 78b)

The city of Cheshbon, meaning a place of reckoning, holds a profound lesson.

A well-known story about Reb Chaim Brisker (Chaim Halevi Soloveitchik, 1853 – 1918) illustrates this. As a young boy, Reb Chaim got into a fight with a friend who punched him. Reb Chaim retaliated with two punches. When asked why he punched twice, he explained, “The first punch was to even the score, and the second was because your first punch was unprovoked, so I, too, gave you a punch for no reason.”

Similarly, the Ben Ish Chai (Yosef Hayim, 1835 –1909) recounts a story of two people fighting. One hit the other more than he had been hit. When questioned, he explained, “You took something from me, so you have to pay keifel (double): You punched me once, so I had to punch you twice.” His adversary then asked, “But why three punches?” The response was, “The third? That was a present!”

These anecdotes reflect different approaches to justice and accountability. The Ben Ish Chai asks why we must enumerate all our sins when seeking forgiveness, when Hashem is fully aware of everything we’ve done. Wouldn’t a general request for forgiveness be sufficient? His answer provides insight into human behavior.

Consider two individuals: one who generally gives charity and another who rarely does. If both are asked for charity and neither gives, Hashem will judge them differently. This is because every action comprises two elements: a person’s general character, and the specific incident. The particular act must be understood in the context of one’s general character.

We often view ourselves as good Jews who strive to do what is right, with our wrongdoings being exceptions. These exceptions must be acknowledged as individual incidents. Conversely, when a “rasha” performs a mitzvah, it is seen as an anomaly and counted as an isolated act. Therefore, when we seek forgiveness, we enumerate our sins to show Hashem that these are isolated incidents, not reflections of our true selves.

Even if we are not as righteous as we aspire to be, listing our sins when asking for forgiveness, we express our desire to improve.

In times of reflection, such as recent weeks, we often focus on claiming victories or dwelling on failures. Instead, we should learn from this principle and apply it to our personal lives. By emphasizing the good we do daily, viewing our iniquities as exceptions, we present ourselves more favorably to Hashem, who may in turn regard us in a more favorable light.