Jacob worked seven years for Rachel and they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her. (Bereishis 29:20)

Recently there has been a lot of roadwork in Jerusalem and I find that most of the time that I am on the road, traffic is moving at a crawl or at a complete standstill. Short trips between two points in Jerusalem that used to take only a few minutes have now become tedious, time consuming and mentally draining. I have tried different routes to avoid the traffic, but I always seem to end up at my destination without any savings in time. Two questions arise: First, at what point should I give up trying to get around the traffic? Second, before I reach my destination (while sweating things out), should I be frustrated or not?

In this week’s parsha we find something very difficult to understand. Yaakov Avinu meets Rochel, understands that this is the woman that he is supposed to marry and then works out a deal with his future father-in-law. We would assume that the Torah would state that he waited patiently for the designated time to come to finalize the marriage. Yet the Torah says the exact opposite: It was as just a few days in his mind because of his love for her. (See the Lev Eliyahu who is also bothered by this).

We often find ourselves frustrated because we know we are supposed to be doing X and we are instead forced to do Y. I would like to share with you the frustration of one of my friends, who asked me for my perspective on his situation, hoping to understand Hashem’s ways. This fellow had a large debt incurred by various external expenses, but he actually lived his life quite frugally. He asked me, “I know that Hashem is not short on cash, and Hashem knows that if He gave me enough to cover my debts, I would still continue living the exact same frugal life as I do right now. So, what is the reason that Hashem is not giving me the necessary cash?” I looked him in the eye and said to him, “You know that what you said is not true!” He was surprised, and asked me earnestly, “What have I said that is not true?” I told him, “If Hashem gave you the money, you would not be living the same way you are living now. Now you are living with anxiety, but if your debt were paid off, you would be living without anxiety. And I know you realize this, because if you didn’t realize this you would not have the question that you asked!” In short, it is true that Hashem can make things easier – but when He doesn’t, it is obvious that He wants them to be exactly as they are.

One of my attempts to deal with my traffic issue was to use public transportation. Though it may take longer, I do not have to fight with the traffic – I only have to deal with the time issue. I can sit back and (mentally) enjoy the ride because it is not in my hands. So too with life in general. If we all understood that Hashem is actually in the “driver’s seat” of our lives, then when we get stuck in traffic (assuming if it is not our fault because we left late), we would realize that this is exactly what Hashem wants for us right now. Whether things are going in ways that we think are good or not, it is all Ratzon Hashem. However, what to do during that time and how to deal with the situation is the challenge that we must rise to.

When we are involved in an activity that we really enjoy, time seems to fly. If we are doing something that is frustrating to us, but we know that this is what Hashem wants, we should appreciate the opportunity to grow just as much as when we are sitting at the Pesach Seder and singing the praises of Hashem. Yaakov Avinu understood that he was put into this position of waiting seven years for his wife through no fault of his own, but rather through Hashem’s design. After he came to that realization, he was able to appreciate even the difficult times in his life, because he understood that he was being led by the hand of Hashem.