Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the break of dawn. (Bereishis 32:25)

Hashem alone will be exalted, so too Jacob (as it is written) “Jacob was left alone.” (Bereishis Raba 77:1)

As I was leaving shul one day, a friend of mine asked if I would like to walk home together with him. In response I quipped, “Are you afraid that if you walk with yourself, you may meet yourself and be all alone with yourself?” He immediately responded, “Your observation is correct that I am looking for a diversion, but in this case it is from the blistering heat and not from myself.”

I believe that this phenomenon of wanting to be involved in the lives of others stems from people being afraid to closely scrutinize their own lives. Their safe haven is finding safer pastures to graze in. A healthy person would consider spending time with himself as the ultimate reinvigoration – just look at the people who go on “survival treks” in which they challenge themselves alone against the forces of nature. However, on a social level, this is even more apparent. Most people don’t live “alone”, rather most, if not all of what they do, is driven by social pressures.

The first to hold ground and really do what he believed was Avraham Avinu. For that reason, he was called “The Ivri”, meaning that he was willing to be on the “other side” versus the rest of the world. He stood up for what he believed in, willing to die for his unpopular beliefs.

One’s environment may also be beneficial, if it helps a person grow stronger in order to do what his yetzer hara is trying to prevent. For example: Ideally, we all would like to do mitzvos with excitement and devotion and in the most beautiful way possible. Peer pressure sometimes can give us a shelo lishma reason to bring ourselves to a greater accomplishment in Torah and Mitzvos. Chazal tell us kinas sofrim tarbe chachma – the jealously of others who learn will bring about more Torah learning. In Shulchan Aruch it says that those who donate to a shul should have their names inscribed announcing the donation, and according to some the reason is that this will encourage others to also give.

Yaakov returned to get the pachim katanim – small jugs. All the commentators wonder why would the extremely wealthy Yaakov put himself into danger just to prevent a small financial loss!? They all explain in their various ways that this was an act of spirituality, which he obviously felt that it was worthwhile to do alone.

In some situations, doing a mitzvah in front of others takes away the connection between that person and Hashem. Possibly the Angel of Esav tried to divert Yaakov’s thoughts away from that which he was doing and to be involved in something else. This may seem like a small infraction, but it can really spoil the entire Avodas Hashem.

I know a doctor who is very sought-after. The phone rings in his house all day long. The pressure on him became so great that he went to Switzerland without his cellphone to get some peace and quiet in the Alps. One late morning he was lounging on a chair, enjoying the mountain air and scenery, and someone happens to walk by saying, “Doctor X?? I can’t believe it. I have been meaning to speak with you for the past few weeks!” With joy the doctor gave the man the advice he needed, but commented to his family that his vacation was now a waste. Sometimes a small interruption when you are involved in true Avodas Hashem can divert you enough that you cannot return to your previous upraised state. This is the meaning of “Livado”. Only when one is alone with himself, can his Avodas Hashem be in its purest form.

Yaakov ended up championing his challenge with the Angel of Esav, but it was just not the same afterwards. There are many great things that came out of it, such as the name “Yisrael” and a lesson for klal Yisrael to endure even when we have enemies surrounding us. But Yaakov did not come out unscathed.

I would like to suggest that when you see someone doing a chesed, or engrossed in learning or davening, leave him alone!