Yaakov awoke from his sleep, and said, In truth, Hashem is in this place, and I did not know it. (Bereishis 28:16)

RASHI:  AND I DID NOT KNOW IT— for had I known it I would not have slept in as holy a place as this.

In last week’s parsha, as Yaakov tries to impersonate his brother Eisav, Yitzchak perceives differences in his mannerisms. Rather than being rough and coarse, his speech was gentle and even incorporated a mention of Hashem. This caused Yitzchak to wonder, “Who is this in front of me?”, as these signs were clearly not Eisav-like. Thus, this put Yaakov in danger of his true identity being revealed. Since the goal was to impersonate Eisav as well as possible in order to attain the brochos, why didn’t Yaakov impersonate the mannerisms and speech of Eisav as well?

I heard from one of the mispallelim in shul the following explanation: There are some things that we just do not change. Speaking with derech eretz and recognizing that everything comes from Hashem are not things with which to be tampered (except under extreme conditions). Yaakov didn’t want to do something improper that wasn’t an absolute necessity.

As we look into this week’s parsha, there is a fascinating question to be asked: Yaakov goes to sleep in a place without the proper appreciation of how holy it was. He has a prophecy, which he understands was given to him due to the holiness of the place. He then exclaims, “If I would have known how holy this place is, I would not have slept here!” The problem with this exclamation is that if Yaakov would not have slept there, he would not have had the prophecy! Therefore, it was necessary for him to sleep there without knowing how holy it was. Doesn’t this suggest that the ends of his receiving the prophecy justified the means of him sleeping there? Furthermore, Hashem not only allowed him to sleep there, but actually sanctioned it by giving him this prophecy! So, if Hashem said it is OK to sleep there, why would he think otherwise?

I would like to share with you a conversation that I had with a member of Hatzalah from Ramat Beit Shemesh. He mentioned to me that he was considering retiring from this lofty service because his children were getting older. I probed further and asked him, “What exactly is the problem? Missing the Shabbos table? A lack of security? Or just a feeling of family becoming second fiddle?” He answered, “None of the above. Rather, if my children see me driving on Shabbos week in and week out, though intellectually they would understand that it was a mitzvah and not a sin, it would still create for them a lack of trepidation regarding desecrating the Shabbos. Since my primary obligation is to educate my children, I will have to step aside and allow others to do this holy mitzvah.”

So too, Yaakov was lamenting the fact that he mistreated a holy place. Though, it may have been necessary to get the prophecy, Yaakov didn’t want to lose his sensitivity and therefore he bemoaned that which he did.

The things that we do affect us, even if we do them for a mitzvah. In fact, the Mishah Berurah in Siman Alef tells us that though it is permissible to be brazen when doing mitzvos, it is not worthwhile because one will acquire a bad middah.

I heard in the name of Rav Pam that people read or view news, without realizing the effect it will have on them. One who sees the most horrific sights must keep in mind that not every gruesome detail is important, because precisely those details may have the negative side effect of causing us to become desensitized.

Everything we do needs to be assessed to determine if the possible benefit is worth the emotional and ethical cost. Viewing an image with a warning “Viewer discretion is advised” is probably not worth the cost. But there will still be incidents where we will have to do what is necessary and face the emotional risks, such as Yaakov sleeping in a holy place, or even fulfilling the mitzvah of wiping out Amalek.

May Hashem bless us that we have no grief or sorrow, and we should be enveloped in shalom.