When you [an Israelite warrior] take the field against your enemies, and your God delivers them into your hand and you take some of them captive (Devarim 21:10)

Rashi: Scripture is speaking here of a war that is not obligatory upon the Israelites…

Rashi tells us that it is only permissible to take a woman captive (Yefas Toar) in a non-obligatory war. However, in a war against the seven nations of the land of Canaan, it is forbidden to take such a woman as none can be left alive. Rav Moshe Feinstein (1895-1986) asks, “There are many prohibitions which are lifted in order for the yefas toar to be permitted. Why was this negative commandment in particular (not allowing any of the peoples of the seven nations to live) not lifted?” He explains, based on the concept of Chazal that the reason one is permitted to marry a yefas toar is because Hashem saw that people might not be able to restrain themselves and therefore the Torah permitted it so that one won’t sin. (This subject must be explored at a different time – why and when the process of permitting something to prevent one from sinning is applied.)

Reb Moshe continues: The Torah commands us not to marry a gentile woman, and if one did so and had a child, that child would be a gentile, not a Jew. The Sefer Hachinuch tells us that the reason is because she will cause him to stray and follow the ways of the gentiles (See Parshas Vaeschanan mitzvah 427), as the force, beliefs, and persuasions of the woman affect the home and all the people in it. In fact, Chazal relate that there was a righteous man married to a righteous woman and wicked man who was married to wicked woman. Both couples ended up divorcing and marrying the other person, and in the end the righteous man became wicked, and the wicked man became righteous – both because of the influence of their new wives.

Reb Moshe explains that besides the normally sinful act of marrying this lady (which under some circumstances, the Torah allows), one must also take into account the effects of his actions, as this lady will have a negative effect on those around her. Therefore, under certain conditions it is preferable for a person to sin and not establish a negative force in the house, rather than permit the marriage, thereby bringing a negative force (a lady from the seven nations) into the home.

Elul is upon us and many of us are examining our actions from the past year. This will hopefully result in repenting for the inappropriate things we did.  I think Reb Moshe is giving us a message that we must also repent for things which may not have been wrong in and of themselves (and they may even be a Mitzvah), but rather brought us to a situation of sin. For example, when I was a bochur in yeshiva, the mashgiach asked a riddle, “How can a mitzvah be a sin in disguise?” He answered “When a person stays up late at night learning!” In such a case, the yetzer hara has a windfall. First the person can become arrogant, lauding himself over others as a better student. Added to that, his lack of sleep may cause him to miss davening the next morning, and then may cause him to be unproductive for the entire four-hour morning seder!

The Chofetz Chaim expressed this idea in reference to part of our prayers at night.  “We should remove the Satan from before us and behind us”. The Chofetz Chaim asks what does it mean to have a Satan behind us? He explained that the Satan behind us is pushing us to do mitzvos that will ultimately hurt our avodas Hashem. The danger is that since the Yetzer is pushing us to do a mitzvah, we don’t recognize him as an adversary, but rather as a positive force.

May we merit, as we repent, to not only to correct our actions, but to ensure that all our actions bring us a step forward and not a step backwards.