Rabbeinu Yona in Shaarei Teshuva (First Gate, paragraphs 24 and 25) discusses the essential components of teshuva (repentance): hachna’a (submissiveness), shiflus (humility) and serving Hashem “b’tznius” (modesty). He elaborates on these qualities, but the question arises: What does modesty have to do with repentance? The gemora in Sukkah (49b) explains the verse “and what Hashem demands of you; but to do justice (Mishpat), to love kindness (Ahavas Chesed), and to walk modestly with your G-d (Hatzneia Leches)” (Micha 6:8) as follows: Mishpat is explained as proper judgement. Ahavas Chesed is explained as acts of kindness. Tznius is referring to burying the dead, and escorting a bride to her wedding canopy. The gemora explains that despite the public nature of these two acts, they must be done with modesty.

Our question, however, remains: What does “tznius” or modesty mean in the context of Tshuva?

To clarify, consider the following parable:

Rivky’s mother tells her, “Sheifela, today is my birthday. Do your mother a favor and buy her a gift from the jewelers.” She hands Rivky $700 for the purchase. In the store, Rivky meets her friend Saraleh, who is also shopping for a gift for her mother. Saraleh chooses a pair of earrings for $50, paying with her own money. Rivky selects a gold bracelet, hands over her mother’s $700, and purchases it. Both girls present their gifts to their mothers. Saraleh proudly says, “I took the time to find you this beautiful gift, and paid for it with my own money.” When Rivky presents “her” gift to her mother, she boasts, “Look at the stunning bracelet I bought you for $700!”

Obviously, Rivky doesn’t have much to brag about, as she merely used her mother’s money to buy the gift according to her mother’s instructions. Her bragging shows her immaturity, as if she believed that the $700 was hers to spend as she pleased, and she deserves praise for spending it on her mother!

Similarly, Hashem has given us the abilities necessary to perform many mitzvos in order that we should use these faculties to do mitzvos. If we take credit for ourselves, we fail to acknowledge that it is Hashem’s gifts which enabled our actions.

One who has sinned, has essentially misappropriated Hashem’s gifts, squandering Hashem’s “funds” on things we have no right to do. Part of the teshuva process is to acknowledge that one has a responsibility to use the faculties and gifts that Hashem has given us for mitzvos, and not for sins. This realization will lead to humility, based on the understanding that one should not view his mitzvos as acts of personal generosity, as if one has gone above and beyond. Instead, we must see them as the very purpose for which Hashem granted us time and money. The litmus test of a true baal teshuva is if one serves Hashem with modesty—without boasting to others or even to oneself.

As Yom Kippur approaches, many of us have taken on new commitments, ‘over-exerting’ ourselves in order to show Hashem our desire to improve. Yet, we must remember that the ability to execute our wishes is itself a gift from Hashem. That touch of humility, I hope and pray, will elevate our good deeds in Hashem’s eyes.

Gmar Chasima Tovah