“Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, ‘Surely the Hashem is present in this place, and I did not know it!’” (Bereishis 28:16)

The gemora in Sanhedrin (95b) tells us that after Yaakov Avinu had already passed the location of the future Beis Hamikdash, he said, “How could I walk right past the place where my ancestors prayed and not pray there myself?!”  He thereupon turned back to that spot. But on the above verse, Rashi also quotes a Chazal that when Yaakov woke up in the morning he said, “If I had known that this was a holy place I would not have gone to sleep there!” These two Midrashim seem to contradict each other.

I would like to suggest an answer based on a few lesser-known halachos. Rav Yaakov Emden (1697 –1776), in his siddur Beis Yaakov – halachos maariv, states that one should not give charity before davening maariv, even though it is the proper practice to give charity before shacharis and mincha. Night is a time of strict judgement and giving charity is out of place then. The only exception is when a poor person actually asks; then one should give, because the mitzvah of tzedakah applies at all times.

Another unusual halachah: The best time for selichos is between midnight and sunrise. However, from sunset until midnight is not an appropriate time (See Teshuvos Igros Moshe and Yabia Omer on this subject). The obvious question is that if this is a time of strict judgement, wouldn’t that be exactly when we want to turn strict judgement into mercy by saying the 13 middos or giving charity? So why are these mitzvos “out of place” then?

The Maharsha (Shmuel Eidels 1555 – 1631) explains (not in the regular writings) that before Yaakov’s visit, whenever Hashem had appeared in the location of the Beis Hamikdash, it was with the mida of strict judgement, with the name “Elokim”. When Yaakov came, he sensed the mida of strict judgement at night, so he went to sleep, planning to pray in the morning, when the mida of mercy would be more prevalent. Only when he awoke did he realize that Hashem had been there with the mida of mercy. That’s why he said specifically, “Hashem is in this place”, rather than using the name “Elokim”.

At times we want to ask someone for forgiveness, but we feel that it is not the right moment, because the other person is upset or closed off. Real forgiveness needs the giver to be in a place of openness and mercy, rather than constriction. So we wait for the moment when the other person will be in a state where they can truly forgive.

This idea of the right atmosphere is relevant to other aspects of our Avodas Hashem. The Chida (Chaim Yosef David Azulai 1724-1806) writes that even though “Talmud Torah keneged kulam”, in the days leading up to Rosh Hashanah it is appropriate to take time out from learning to daven selichos and do some soul searching. This is because different times demand different activities, even though one activity is objectively the greatest.

We are expected to live as true Ovdei Hashem. This demands being aware of the right way to act in each situation, within our relationship with Hashem. If we serve Hashem with the right approach at the right time, we will definitely merit to see salvations for ourselves, our kehilla, and the entire Jewish nation.