“And thou shalt relate to thy son on that day, saying, this is done because of that which the Lord did for me when I came out of Egypt.” (Shemos 13:8)

The gemara in Chagigah (Jerusalem Talmud Chagigah 2:1) tells us about the mother of Acher. While she was pregnant with him, she passed by a house of idol worship and benefitted from the smell of the spices. That seemingly minor exposure affected the child she was carrying — and ultimately contributed to him becoming an apostate.
It’s 100% clear that her unborn child had not transgressed on any commandment. Yet we see how even something so subtle could have catastrophic spiritual consequences.

We find a similar idea in Moshe Rabbeinu’s infancy. Moshe refused to nurse from any Egyptian wet nurse, and only accepted milk from a Jewish woman – who happened to be his own mother. Based on this event, there is a halacha in Yoreh Deah that a child should not nurse from a gentile unless there is no other option.

Chazal explain Moshe’s refusal to nurse from a gentile with the question, “The mouth that is going to speak with the divine presence should nurse from a gentile lady?” Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky (1891–1986) said that we learn from this halacha that we must raise each of our own children as if they may end up speaking with the Divine Presence.

This raises a question: Where did Moshe, at three-months-old, acquire such a refined sense of what to eat and what to reject? The answer, it seems, must lie in the upbringing he had during those first three months in the home of Yocheved and Amram. A child raised in an environment of holiness will develop natural inclinations toward the holy and a natural aversion to anything that is not holy.

People often say to me, “But he’s only a child! How could something so minor have long-term effects?” The truth is that a child’s character is built from many small moments that accumulate over time. Even something that is technically permissible, but has an element that does not fit with our ultimate spiritual goals, can have a negative effect on a child.

As we approach Pesach – the holiday that probably leaves the strongest and most lasting impression on our children – we should keep this in mind. Whether Jewish children are raised in observant or more distantly connected homes, the Seder night is a special time to connect with our tradition and our beliefs. Not only do the major halachas – eating matzah and avoiding chometz – matter, but even the minutest of customs make an impression on our children that can affect them for the rest of their lives.

May we merit this Yom Tov, not only to elevate ourselves, but to connect all those around us to a higher sphere of holiness! By doing so, we may soon be merit to bring the korbon pesach in the newly dedicated Beis Hamikdash, may it be rebuilt speedily in our days.