“But the word is very near to you, in your mouth, and in your heart, that you may do it.” (Devarim 30:14)

The Torah tells us that the mitzvah of teshuva is close to us, accessible, and within our grasp. People often assume the opposite – that teshuva is distant, unreachable, and beyond their abilities. They have tried for years to achieve lasting repentance, yet it never seems to hold.

I would like to explore several different aspects of teshuva, some that give us a better chance at lasting repentance, and others that are less likely to endure.

The Gemora (Avoda Zara 17a) tells the story of Elazar ben Durdaiya, who was steeped in immoral conduct far beyond what we can usually imagine. At a certain point, he decided to repent. The gemora relates that he said: “The hills and the mountains – ask Hashem to have mercy on me!” But they responded that they were busy praying for themselves. He then turned to the heavens and the earth, asking them to plead for him, but they too felt the need to pray for themselves. He continued seeking help from the sun, moon, stars and constellations with the same response. He finally realized, “Teshuva depends solely on me.” He then put his head between his knees and cried until his soul left him.

The gemora continues that he went straight to Olam haba, and his name was changed to “Rebbi” Elazar ben Durdaya, because he taught us how to do teshuva.

A question arises: Why did he turn to all the heavenly bodies for help, and how did he come to the realization that Teshuva depends on him alone? This can be compared to a drug addict. Many people can offer him advice and support. But until he makes an internal decision to break the addiction, none of that help will truly last. Only after he decides within himself that he wants to break the habit can outside assistance help him succeed.

So too with sin. A person can be so attached to a sin to the point that genuine Teshuva feels impossible. At that point, Rav Chaim Shmulevitz (Rosh Yeshiva of the Mir Yeshiva 1902-1979) explains, if a person attaches himself to Hashem, that attachment and love for Hashem will create the necessary energy to overcome even his strongest desires. A person must recognize that his repentance depends on his own inner will and his genuine desire to become close to Hashem. That is what generates lasting change. But attempting to correct one’s ways without that connection – without a genuine closeness to Hashem – will almost always lead a person back to the same place.

As we are in the midst of the Ten Days of Repentance, when Hashem is already close and waiting for us to reconnect — “Dirshu Hashem behimatzo,” seek out Hashem when He is found — we have a unique opportunity. By tapping into the love Hashem has for us and His desire for our return, we can merit to achieve a teshuva sheleima, a complete repentance, bimheira beyameinu, speedily in our days.