Rabbi Yehuda ben Simon states: Avraham requested that Hashem create aging, as without it, a man and his son can arrive somewhere and people won’t be able to discern which to respect more, but if their appearance can indicate their age, it will be clear who deserves respect. Hashem answered that you asked for a good thing, therefore this change will start with you.  The verse (Bereishis 24:1) is the first mention of “zikna”, old age, in the Torah. (Medrash Raba 65:9)

People of today’s generation look down on the elderly. This is very often caused by a feeling that once one loses their vitality, they are “worth less”. The secular world lauds youth for its own sake, and yet the Torah tells us one should stand for his elders – even if the elder is not a Torah scholar – for they are the ones who truly deserve respect. Why is it that there are such opposite approaches to the outlook we have on aging?

I believe that the way that we look at age depends upon how we perceive our own lives. The Zohar tells us that a baby is born with clenched fists, and when a man dies, his hands naturally open.  The Zohar explains that the reason for this is that when the baby is born, the baby envisions that he will take it all in. This is represented by the clenched fists. In reality, what usually happens is that he does not accomplish much in his life, and he goes into the next world empty-handed. Hence, his hands open at the time of death.

I have a relative who is about a decade younger than his siblings – he was born when his father was already in his 40’s. He once asked me, “Do you think it is better to be a son of a father who is young and idealistic or to be the son of a father who has experienced life, has measured thoughts, and responds only after thinking?” Not surprisingly, my relative said that he believes the latter to be true. I understood that he was thinking about himself versus his siblings. Is there a Torah perspective about this question? I would like to suggest that our Medrash addresses this.

I once heard someone say, “The definition of being old is that you live in the past and talk about that which you have done. As long as you are talking about what you are dreaming of accomplishing and your goals, you are still ‘young’ no matter what age you are.

There is another expression, “Youth is wasted on the young.” However, a cousin of mine responded, “While youth may be wasted on the young, age is wasted on the elderly.” I have heard many times from older people that they are resigned to their situation in which they think that due to their age they can no longer accomplish what they want. Imagine what an octogenarian could accomplish if he had energy and verve of a young person.

It seems to me that when Chazal refer to someone who is old, they are discussing a person who has accomplished much. An example of this is the Mishneh in Brochos, “Behold I am like a man of 70”. The nasi, though only 18 years of age, was truly like an old man as Chazal teach us, “Zaken” is an acronym for “This person acquired wisdom.” Being old is a statement of accomplishment that we can assume exists, even sometimes by the non-learned. Not only is it honoring the person’s past accomplishments, but his life experience also gives him the ability to achieve with greater accuracy and fullness in the future. Hence, Avraham said that being able to recognize that a person is old would distinguish him.

Possibly, in the world in which we live, where people in general try to accomplish things which have no intrinsic value, potential is valued more than accomplishments. Thus, they applaud the youth, because they represent potential. But in the world of Torah, where accomplishments are of primary importance, not only is a person honored for the past, but we expect great accomplishments from him in the future.