The land that the LORD has conquered for the community of Israel is cattle country, and your servants have cattle. (Bamidbar 32:4)

Sometimes people are in situations in which at first glance look bad. Many times, there are reasonable interpretations that what meets the eye is not really what is happening. There are people who readily accept the new explanation, yet there are other people whose suspicions are not so easily laid to rest.

The Chasam Sofer (Collective Responses Teshuvas 59) tells us that this concept is possibly the most difficult to keep in all of the Torah. The Torah says, (32:22) “Ones deeds should be clean in the eyes of Hashem and Man”. The Torah says that a person should be free of suspicion. The first half of the verse that G-d should understand our motivations and desires is much easier to accomplish than the second half, because people naturally are suspicious that others’ actions may be motivated by improper motives.

Chazal tell us that the tribes of Reuven and Gad switched their priorities around. Their primary concern seemed to be building shelters for their livestock – as they mentioned this first – and only afterwards were they concerned with their families. However, it seems clear to me that deep down they were more concerned with their families than their livestock. It is just that the way that they said it could lend someone to think that which is not true. A different Medrash (Pesikta Zutrasa 65b) tells us that the true reason they wanted to settle on the other side of the Jordan river was because they wanted to be closer to Moshe Rabbeinu’s grave. Yet, the way they expressed themselves was by giving importance to a secondary concern. The Chasam Sofer points out that Moshe Rabbeinu made a deal with these two tribes and said, “If you come to help fight and conquer together with your brethren on the Western side of the Jordan, you have a right to keep those lands on the Eastern side.” Yet, even though they fulfilled their side of the deal, the Chasam Sofer points out that the Medrash says that since they couched their words with concern for their possessions, giving them more prominence over other things (such as their families), this seemingly out of place concern for their possessions caused these two tribes to go into exile first (about 1000 years later).

This is something which must be worked on. How can we habituate not to automatically think negatively of our neighbors? Rabbi Mendel Kaplan Z”L once pointed out that if you would see someone you know driving on Shabbos, the immediate response might be, “I thought he was a respectable Jew, but look what a scoundrel he really is!” The yetzer tov may then kick in and say, “Can’t be! He is basically a fine Jew. Maybe he has a medical emergency and is going to the hospital?” Says Reb Mendel, “With the first statement you already flunked the test of ‘judging your fellow man for the good’!” How do we make it that it will become our initial reaction to see the positive amongst our peers and friends?

He answers that we must work on having Ahavas Yisrael. If we would really have Ahavas Yisrael our initial reaction would be quite different. For example, a person typically has ahava towards close family members, so that if one saw his brother driving on Shabbos, his initial reaction would be, “OY! My brother must be driving to the hospital for some medical emergency! I pray everything will turn out OK!” We should work towards making this our initial reaction to every Jew.

In these weeks, when we focus on rectifying our sinas chinam, we have a special obligation to think of the positive about others. The tribes of Gad and Reuven seemingly put the secondary before the primary, and its appearance gave the wrong message, causing them to go into exile first. We too, must try to make our good intentions clear from the beginning. But in addition, we must also try to look at our peers in a favorable light even when it may seem otherwise.