“But when food was set before him, he said, ‘I will not eat until I have told my tale.’ He said, ‘Speak, then.’” (Bereishis 24:33)

Was there a particular reason that Eliezer had to speak before eating?

The gemora (Sanhedrin 52b) tells us, “How does an am haaretz perceive a talmid chacham? Initially the talmid chacham seems like a pitcher of gold; after the am haaretz speaks to him, the talmid chacham wanes in luster and he is perceived as a pitcher of silver which gets tarnished, but can be restored; after the am haaretz benefits from him, he perceives him to be like a pitcher of pottery, which, once tarnished, can’t be restored.” The Ben Ish Chai (Ben Yehoyada) explains that just as usage tarnishes a vessel, undue familiarity with a person takes away his splendor.

Reb Moshe Feinstein z”l was well known by his neighbors as a humble man who was always willing to do chesed. After many years, when these neighbors realized his greatness, they were mortified at their mistreating a talmid chacham by requesting menial favors from him. Reb Moshe, on the other hand, would say, “Why shouldn’t I do a favor for another Jew?”

What makes a great man? If everything that the person does appears extraordinary, he may seem a bit angelic. The ultimate is for him to seem totally natural, masking the greatness within. It is often only by careful observation that one will note the precision and care by which a great person lives his life. I once heard from Rav Brevda z”l that before he came to Eretz Yisrael, he thought that the greatness of the Chazon Ish was exaggerated. Yet, after arriving in Eretz Yisrael and watching the Chazon Ish up close, he saw how his every action was done naturally but with precision, devotion and happiness. Rav Brevda stated, “It is hard to believe that such an angel could have born to a mortal.” This is the epitome of greatness.

There are those who may feel, “He eats and sleeps like me. What is the difference between us?” Also, people get used to being near greatness and may take it for granted. A relative of mine told me the following humorous story. His brother-in-law, who is a great talmid chacham and esteemed by the gedolim in Bnei Brak, made a simcha and seated my relative at the head table. My relative told me, “Initially when I sat there, I felt uncomfortable being among such great Torah scholars. After a short time, I felt quite in place, enjoying sitting with these dignified men. After a bit longer, I was wondering why these people deserved to sit next to me, for after all, they looked and acted just as ordinary people.”

Based on this idea, there are those who say that if Eliezer would have first eaten in front of Lavan and Besuel, it would have been hard for them to envision him as the emissary of Avraham Avinu. Therefore, Eliezer decided to plead his case before eating. I believe that it is necessary for us to strengthen our knowledge that even though great people may seem just like us, this usually belies their spiritual greatness.

Thirty-five years ago, I witnessed a man disrespectfully tap a talmid chacham on the shoulder, and appropriately, the talmid chacham didn’t respond. Recently, someone else tapped this same talmid chacham on the shoulder, but this time he responded. A close talmid told me that the reason for the change was because “Today’s generation does not even understand that there is a difference between one person and another!” Essentially, even the great Torah Scholars have become like pieces of pottery.

In order to receive from our great leaders, and absorb their lessons, it is mandatory that we give them the respect they deserve.

As the war continues, there is an ongoing struggle in our minds, between recognizing the daily miracles versus considering it as the normal way that Hashem runs the world. We should not treat the kindness of Hashem as ordinary and just “tap” Him on the shoulder to ask him for help. We should plead with Hashem like we really mean it. There is a great yetzer hara to put one foot out the door when tehillim are being said. Is that a “tap” on Hashem’s shoulder, or an earnest plea to Hakadosh Baruch Hu?