“Moshe went out to meet his father-in-law; he bowed and kissed him and he asked him how he was doing…” (Shemos 18:7)

The above verse doesn’t specify whether it was Moshe who bowed to and kissed Yisro, or Yisro who bowed to and kissed Moshe.  The midrash proves that Moshe was the one who bowed down because Moshe is referred to as ‘Ish (“Viha’ish Moshe Anav Miode” Bamidbar 12:3) and here the word Ish is used as well, therefore it must be that Moshe bowed and kissed Yisro. But what is the meaning of this bowing and kissing? Moshe was a greater person than Yisro, so why was Moshe bowing down to someone of a lesser stature than himself?

The Shem Mishmuel (Shmuel Bornsztain 1855-1926) explains that the reason that Yisro came was to learn from Moshe Rabbeinu and absorb some of his kedusha. The problem was that Moshe Rabbeinu was on such a high level that it was not possible for Yisro to connect to him. Moshe bowed to lower himself to Yisro’s level so that Yisro could then connect to him. Moshe’s kissed Yisro to enable their souls to connect so that Yisro could learn from Moshe. This endeavor succeeded and Yisro was able to learn from Moshe.

Chazal tell us that there are many situations where one must lower himself in order to grow. For example, the gemora (Bava Metzi’a 59a) states, “…people say, ‘If your wife is short, bend down and hear her whisper!’” The commentators explain this to mean that sometimes a man must digress from his high levels of spirituality so that his wife will be able to connect to him, and then together they can create the proper home for their children. These minor steps down are a step forward in the growth of their home and/or marriage.

In our own personal journey, we may be in Shul and find ourselves sitting next to someone who is doing something that is getting on our nerves (such as tapping the table or rocking his chair). It may even get to the point that we want to yell at the person, “Find another seat!”. Another possibility is that one considers himself a “baal madrega” and says to himself “Maybe I should find another seat!”. I would like to suggest that we can learn something from everyone in our community. Perhaps we just have to be white-knuckled and bear it, so that we will glean positivity from this neighbor. We need to keep in mind that possibly his tefilah is said with more kavana than ours. ‘Lowering’ ourselves very often enables us to elevate ourselves.

As we stand in the parsha of “k’ish echad bilev echad”, it is important for us to try to find something positive to learn from all of those that Hashem put around us. This is true even if we think that those people are not on “our level”.