“How can I bear this nation by myself?” (Devarim 1:12)

Chazal tell us that it is not by coincidence that the word “Eicha“ is used here in this verse. It seems to me that every time the word “Eicha” is used, it is discussing Klal Yisrael’s feelings about their place in the world. Let us explore this idea further.

In general, I think that people understand that going into exile was and is a punishment for abusing our privilege of living in Eretz Yisroel and being Hashem’s nation. There seems to be a yetzer hara for Jews to feel that they must “fit in” to the society around them. Instead of standing with confidence, dignity and pride at being separate from the other nations, they would like to be “one of the guys.” When I was in elementary school, my rebbe taught us a fascinating concept: If a Jew doesn’t make Kiddush, then the gentiles will make Havdalah. Meaning, if we don’t separate ourselves from the gentiles as proud Jews, then the gentiles will pick us out of the crowd with scorn and mockery to ensure that we don’t mingle with them.

Classically, when Jews go into exile and are forced to deal with prejudice and isolation due to living with the gentiles up close, they come to appreciate the privilege of being part of the chosen nation, which causes a yearning to return to Hashem and Eretz Yisroel. It seems to me in a sense that going into exile is not just a punishment, but a preparation to eventually feel fulfilled and enriched when serving Hashem.

There are many parables told about a prince who was the only child in a castle, and yearned to play with the commonfolk youths outside the castle. The prince was so frustrated that he sneaked out of the castle. Once outside, the commonfolk stole his jewelry and fine clothing and persecuted him because he was royalty. The prince eventually came back home to his father and cried about the bigotry. His father tried to console his young son by saying, “They are simply jealous!” but the boy could not understand what his father meant.

This is the cycle that we Jews must bring to a stop.

There are many people who say, “I wish Moshiach would come!”. But, when asked, “Why do you want Moshiach?”, they explain how their life will be improved when the Moshiach will come. For example, they may say, “When Moshaich will come, he will pay my bills!”. or “When Moshiach will come, my sick friend will be healed”, and so on and so forth. If one would ask them, “What if I could produce those desired results without Moshiach? Would you be happy?”, and the answer is “yes”, then the person is not ready to leave exile. What is the litmus test to know if we are really yearning to be redeemed from exile? When we cry over the loss of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. The Sfas Emes writes, regarding the words of Chazal “Those who weep at the destruction of Yerushalayim will rejoice in its rebuilding (of the Temple)”. Those for whom the Temple is just a way of getting ‘perks’ in life, not only do they not weep at its loss, but they also will not revel or rejoice in in its ultimate rebuilding. Only those people who know what they are missing, can rejoice when they get it.

When we say on Tisha B’Av, “Woe to us for what we have lost”, we are speaking about an image of a nation which represented Hashem, and understand that the loss of the Temple caused us to lose our closeness to Hashem. Instead, we find ourselves a nation that when facing the world can only be apologetic about being the Chosen Nation. This should not be the stance of a person who is in exile. [See Emek Davar Devarim 28:33, where he quotes the Gemara in Sanhedrin 104B – Raba said: I wanted them to be a nation that is “alone” on top of the world (הם עם לבדד ישכון), and instead they are a nation dwelling alone in Galus (איכה ישבה בדד)]

May we stand apart with our chins upת and through that appreciation merit to see the redemption in our times.