When the donkey now saw the angel of the LORD, she lay down under Balaam; and Balaam was furious and beat the donkey with his stick. (Bamidbar 22:27)

The Kedushas Levi asks a simple question: Anyone who has ridden a horse or has tamed wild animals knows that when the animal acts out of line, the rider or trainer will whip the animal so that the animal does what it is supposed to. Therefore, when the angel asked Bilaam, “Why did you hit the donkey?” it seems rather obvious: Because the donkey misbehaved. Not only that, but after the donkey asked Bilaam why he hit him, he didn’t complain about being hit, instead he asked, “Why didn’t you trust my track record and understand that I must have had a good reason to deviate from your command!?” So why was the angel upset with Bilaam for hitting the donkey?

Choosing what is right or wrong in some situations can be tricky. Many a time we fool ourselves into thinking that we were given permission to do something when we really were not. For example, I am often asked by people a question such as, “Is such-and-such permitted under such-and-such circumstances?” After some thought, I will answer them, “The halacha states that your situation is considered a ‘pressing situation’ and so one may be lenient”. I was once at a class when the Rabbi giving the class said, “in a ‘pressing situation’ you can have a gentile do certain work on Shabbos”. Someone raised his hand and asked, “What about if I NEED my soda to be cold? Is that enough of a ‘pressing situation’ to allow me to ask a non-Jew to do the otherwise forbidden work?” I must tell you that sometimes Rabbis are not always sensitive to the real NEEDS of an individual, and sometimes their situation must be explained to the Rabbi. But if indeed the need is there and is real, sometimes the halacha will accommodate the need.

When a child asks his parents, “Can I go out with my friend and stay out until 11:30 tonight?”, the parent may be tired and not in the mood for a confrontation and will respond, “If you really want, I will permit you to go” (note that I am NOT saying that this is the right approach).  But what if afterwards the father hears the child telling his friend on the phone, “My father said, ‘no problem, you can go.’” Was the child being honest? Was it really no problem? Or was the child just justifying his going against his father’s will because his father gave him “permission”.

Sometimes the human brain can go into overdrive and even justify things which make absolutely no sense. For example, after Joshua destroyed Jericho, he issued a curse on anyone who would rebuild it: When he starts his first child would die, and when he finishes his youngest child would die. And indeed 400 years later, Hiel of Beis El rebuilt Jericho, losing his first born at the start and youngest son at the end. I wondered and marveled, what was this man thinking? How did he not realize that the curse was happening to him while his children died?

The Kedushas Levi explains: When a person embarks on something and then there is an unusual incident, he is supposed to make a cheshbon hanefesh. This is what the donkey told Bilaam. “I don’t usually act like this. Why are you beating me? You should be making a cheshbon hanefesh and realize that you are going against the will of Hashem!” The reason Bilaam did not make this cheshbon hanefesh is because he was truly an evil person and that which Hashem wanted was out of his mind completely – it didn’t even cross his radar screen. For this, he was taken to task.

As one of the great Rabbonim from Hungary was on his way to cut wheat to make his Matzos, he spoke to his students about his recent visit to Rav Moshe Feinstein. He commented that this Rav was truly a righteous man and humble, and for that he really admired him. However, he could not understand how Reb Moshe seemed to have no reverence for earlier decisions when it came to psak halacha. When the Hungarian Rav dumped out his wheat in the mill to grind it, he saw it was infested with worms. He then made a cheshbon hanefesh on the spot, and the words that he said were, “Why did you not fear to speak about my servant Moshe?” (Numbers 12:8).

When something happens out of the ordinary, we have an obligation to make a cheshbon hanefesh and reexamine our decision to make sure it is the correct one; and not to act as Bilaam, who did not see anything except for his own personal agenda.