“…he may not profane his word. He shall do all that he said.” (Bamidbar 30:3)

The Gemora in Kesuvos tells us about a big masmid who always came home every Erev Shabbos at a certain time. One week he was lost in thought in the Beis Medrash and missed his appointed time to go home. Someone commented, “He must have died because otherwise he wouldn’t have missed his time to be home!” The gemora tells us that that slip of the tongue caused the man to actually die! This is quite strange, for there was no malice intended; it was not even a Freudian slip! He was just mistaken! The Gemora in Bava Metzia mentions another similar incident.

We are familiar from various halachos in Choshen Mishpat that the words that a person says can have legal ramifications (sometimes they are binding and sometimes they only give a right to have a complaint against a person), even when no acquisition was made. We are also aware that in the sphere of Torah and Mitzvos, the utterance of words has an effect. According to some poskim, when making tefillin, which has to be done l’shma, it is not enough to think it, but rather the scribe must enunciate the words, “I am making these tefillin for the sake of tefillin.” When saying brochos, the unspoken word is lacking in value. Even in limud hatorah there is a great controversy as to whether one has to verbalize his learning in order to fulfill the mitzvah of Talmud Torah. However, in our everyday lives we do not think that our words make much of a difference unless we are speaking in some kind of halachic context.

We see from these gemoras that simple speech has power. This is not just a concept of “al tiftach peh lesatan” (don’t open your mouth to the Satan), but it actually can work in a positive way, too. (see Noam Elimelech and Kedushas Levi in the beginning of this week’s parsha, who speak about how a great person’s speech have an effect.)

Chazal tell us that Aharon Hakohen would see Reuven and Shimon quarreling and tell Reuven that Shimon would really like to make up with him; then he would go to Shimon and tell him that Reuven would really like to make up with him. It sounds like a good idea in theory, but it doesn’t seem very likely that it would actually bring Reuven and Shimon back together as friends. So how did this really help to create peace? I once saw an idea that explained that once Aharon spoke those words it instilled in Reuven’s and Shimon’s hearts the desire to truly make amends with each other. However, the efficacy of this approach was dependent upon Aharon not profaning his mouth. As the Chassidim say, Lo yachel devaro – a person who does not profane his mouth – kol hayotzei mipiv yaese – all that does come out will happen (a play on words from our source verse).

A possible way to get what you want more often may be to make sure that everything that comes out of your mouth is fulfilled. Although I think most people might find this difficult, it is probably worthwhile just to make sure that you actually mean what you say and say what you mean, as this may make your words more influential.