Jacob served seven years for Rachel and they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her. (Bereishis 29:20)

There is a famous thought which is beautifully explained by Rav Elyah Lopian, the famed mashgiach. When someone is asked, “Do you like fish?”, and he responds, “Yes, I love fish!”, he really means to say that “I love myself, and what makes me feel good is eating fish!” for if he indeed loved fish, he would probably keep fish in an aquarium and would spearhead a movement not to kill fish for human consumption.

The gemora in Kiddushin tells us that in order for a man to betroth a woman he must give her an article of value (for kiddushei kesef). However, the halacha is that if the groom is a dignitary such that people would be honored to have an association with him, even if she gave him an item of value, she would be betrothed to him. The reason is that the ability to give benefit to a dignitary itself has financial value and it is as if the man gave her something.

This is illustrated by a famous story of a Rosh Yeshiva in the USA in the 1960’s. A very wealthy man approached the Rosh Yeshiva and said, “I know this week you are going to be mesader kiddushin at a very high-class wedding. If you, on the way up to the chuppah, stop at my seat to shake my hand, I am willing to give your institution a $10,000 check which I will be holding in my hand at that time!” (Who is giving whom and how much is it worth?) The Rosh Yeshiva turned down this “great” deal.

Says Reb Elyah, “There is a difficulty in the verse about Yaakov waiting to marry Rochel. The Torah tells us that it was only like a few short days because he loved her. On the contrary: If you love someone and you have to wait seven years for her, it should be excruciatingly painful and seem like a much longer period of time!” He answers this question with an idea that we have set forth before. If one marries a woman because he feels that this woman will please him, seven years is eternity. However, when there is true love, meaning you are looking forward to giving to the other person, then the waiting becomes bearable, even to the point that it can seem like a short amount of time.

I have thought about this idea many times and this year I had a question on this. Even those great Tzadikim who were truly selfless were impatient and anxious for Moshiach to come. I don’t believe the reason they wanted Moshiach to come was for personal gratification. So how would Reb Elyah explain this phenomenon? I believe that the answer is understanding the process of waiting. If all one is doing is sitting around and waiting, it is truly unbearable! I have heard that the custom of a bride on the day of her wedding is to wake up bright and early and spend hours and hours preparing for the event that evening. In fact, if you would ask the bride if should would like more time, she would probably take it, because she understands that the more she prepares, hopefully the more pleasing she will be to her groom. Though she cannot wait for the wedding, at the same time she wishes she could push it off just a bit so she could have more time to prepare.

Though our gedolim were waiting impatiently for Moshiach to come, they understood the principle that Rav Yisrael Salanter said: If I would hear Moshaich is coming, I would run in the other direction to try to give myself just a little more time to prepare. Our job while waiting for anything good in life is to prepare ourselves as best as possible for the gifts that Hashem bestows upon us.