(The wife of On ben Peles) said to him: What is the difference to you? If this Master, Moses, is the great one, you are the student. And if this Master, Korach, is the great one, you are the student. Why are you involving yourself in this matter? …She gave him wine to drink and caused him to become drunk and laid him on a bed inside their tent. She sat at the entrance of the tent and exposed her hair. Anyone who came and saw her stepped back. In the meantime, the assembly of Korah was swallowed into the ground, and On, son of Peleth, was spared. This is an example of the passuk in Mishlei (14:1) “The wisdom of women built their house”. (Bamidbar Rabba 18:20)

I recall many years ago, after an Israeli election, that there was a certain voting station which the officials disqualified because some of the people there did things which were illegal. I then witnessed two people fighting about which side caused the officials to disqualify the station. Reuven blamed it on Shimon’s party and Shimon blamed it on Reuven’s party. I watched the showdown escalate to a place which I realized might bring it to a boil (not that there is any place for a disagreement to get out of hand). It then reminded me of the explanation of Reb Chaim Shmulevitz, regarding Chushim, the son of Dan. When Yaakov’s funeral procession arrived at the Maaras Hamachpela, Eisav greeted them and argued that the sole remaining plot belonged to him. An argument then broke out and everyone watched the showdown. However, Chushim, who was deaf, did not understand what was going on and just saw the raw facts that Eisav was holding up Yaakov’s burial, so he took care of the disturbance himself. Reb Chaim Shmulevitz explains that someone who is embroiled in machlokus could lose the forest for the trees. Whereas Chushim, who was not involved due to his hearing impediment, remained levelheaded. Similarly, Chazal tell us of the wisdom of the wife of On ben Peles, who said to her husband, “What are you getting into an argument for, if you have nothing to gain!”. Chazal praised this as Chochmas Nashim.

I approached the two men in the voting station and asked, “Reuven, you claim Shimon’s party caused the voting station to be invalidated. Who told you this and how trustworthy is he? And you, Shimon; you claim Reuven’s party caused the voting station to be invalidated? Who told you this and how trustworthy is he?” As I guessed, neither Reuven nor Shimon had any real hard facts that proved their claim, nor any proof that their sources were trustworthy beyond reproach. So, I asked them, “Why are you fighting a battle based on a report from people whom you don’t even know, and perhaps should not even be trusted?”

I just had an opportunity to be involved in a situation of strife between a husband and wife. Baruch Hashem the matters worked themselves out, and one spouse immediately said to the other, “I see that I was wrong, and I ask your forgiveness!” Not only was this done immediately, but it was done in my presence, with great humility and honesty. I was moved that a person was able to switch from “machlokus mode” to “asking mechila (forgiveness) mode” so quickly! Indeed, we have much to learn from ordinary Jews.

I saw an explanation as to why the punishment of Korach and his assembly necessarily was being swallowed up alive. The Gemara tells us that the entire world exists only in the merit of one who restrains his words during a quarrel.” (Chulin 89a). On the other hand, one who is engaged in machlokus will cause the world to collapse under him, and that is exactly what happened to Korach and his assembly.

While we live in a time that has a great deal of fragmentation around us, we should at least avoid arguments in our own backyard, where we are more in control. Many times, someone makes a comment and we have just the right comeback to put him in his place. If we control that urge to respond sharply, we are supporting the world in which we live. May we merit to be from those who cause the continuation of the world and not be of those who fall into the abyss.